Required Reading Before Conference.

One should read the best, pre-conference theological reflection, What Might the Apostle Paul Say to the Community of Christ by Rich Brown, former Herald editor and emerging publisher.

Updated: Rich continues with another the blog post, Apostle Paul Thought Everybody Was Straight.

Thoughts on the Community of Christ World Conference

Tomorrow (Saturday, April 10) the Community of Christ World Conference will begin. For many the activities have already begun. Yesterday and today, the Restoration Studies Symposium has been held over at Graceland University, Independence Campus. Scholars of both Community of Christ and LDS persuasions (and others) are joining together to reflect on a variety of theological and historical issues facing the movement.

The International Leader's Meeting is also going on. Delegates from around the world have arrived early and participate in these pre-conference classes and workshops. It makes sense from a logistical point of view because the travel expenses are so high that one needs to really use the time wisely when these leaders are here, but one also wonders if this is a subtle way for Church Leadership to shape the opinion of the international leaders.

Because of the increasing size of the international church and the fact that financially and logistically, it is impossible to field a full slate of delegates from most countries, the international delegates will cast weighted votes giving them voting power much greater than a typical US delegate.)

On the numerous questions before the conference on full inclusions of gays and lesbians in the church, it is understood that the strongest opposition comes from the so-called Third World (countries in Africa, Haiti and others). Yet the challenge for these international delegates is that they are largely financial dependent on the US Church for their existence.

In general there does seem to be an increasing movement of more and more control to the top levels of leadership in the Church, even though the church theologically is moving, more and more liberal. I made this point when I spoke with a writer of the KC Star today. I don't see any thing on the conference agenda to move that trend, though I believe it is largely not helpful for the church.

Stigma Alert: Anti-Kobach Web Site

My friend Dan over at Gone Mild linked over to my blog with the entry "Courageous Mental Health Blogging." He says that even supporters (like himself) "tend to lurk in silence because it's not a topic we're accustomed to being honest about." That describes part of the reason stigma about mental health issues exist. I understand Dan's feelings and I have been there myself.

NAMI (The National Alliance for the Mentally Ill) has a great network of Stigma Busters. Stigma Busters watch for images that portray mental illness in a particularly offensive and outmoded way. I have a site to recommend.

Krazy Kris Kobach showed up as a Google Ad on Gmail the other week. The site is a blog which seeks to negatively attack Republican Kansas Secretary of State candidate Kris Kobach. Sometimes politics is a full contact support. And Kobach is clearly an intelligent candidate who can more than defend himself.

My issue with the blog is the photoshopped image of Kobach in a straitjacket. This is a classic stigmatizing image for people with mental illness and the site should remove it immediately.

I would like to email the creators of the site, but they are anonymous and a check of the domain whois shows they have used a service to hide their identity. I don't know Kansas campaign law (or should I say kampaign law to keep with their kute use of the letter k?) but I wonder if they should have a disclosure (paid for) statement on the page.

I'm not a voter in Kansas and if I was, I probably wouldn't be a supporter of Kobach. I also recognize that by putting this blog entry up, more people will go the page. Still, the image, if not the entire site should come down.

The image is not funny. It is offensive in the extreme and critics of Kobach can do better.

Coming Out of the Mental Health Closet

In the spring of 2007, I found myself checked into Research Pyschiatric Hospital. The same hospital that I had received my initial diagnosis of bipolar some 11 years before. There were a number of interesting encounters that week, but one of them was with a young mother who had been suicidal after the birth of her child. The mother happened to be a member of the LDS Church and I noticed that I was the only person in the entire wing who had any clergy visiting them. When talking with this LDS woman, I asked her why she had not asked for the bishop or one of the other elders to come visit her and she responded, "Some things are best handled within the family."

There was a lot of wisdom in this woman's response. For many, hiding mental illness is the best option for ones career and interactions with friends and family. Yet I have also come to believe that the shame and stigma of mental illness then also contributes to further depressions and new cycles of shame and stigma.  Mental illness is a huge killer in our nation. Twice as many people in Missouri die of suicidie than die of homicides. Yet why isn't there an outrage and a demand for better access to mental health services? Because too often those that suffer, suffer and then die alone.

Andrew Sullivan is one of my favorite bloggers. When I realized that this gay man who happens to be HIV+ can be honest about his status, perhaps so can I.  It is perhaps one of the reasons why I have found myself spending Sunday evenings at Stonewall Ministry. A ministry of the Community of Christ that is open and inclusive for gay, lesbians, bisexual and transgender individuals and their advocates. One of my lesbian friends said that I would find that hanging out with a bunch of "queers" would toughen me up a bit. Perhaps she was right.

I hope so, because as a part of me coming out of the mental health closet, I have received many positive comments and appreciations. (Especially from those who struggle with mental illness as well.) But I also have encountered some anonymous haters. 

Here in Missouri we have had one of the first cyber-bullying cases in the nation, when Megan Meier completed suicide after a classmate's mother sent her threatening messages.  Well, I'm not a 16-year-old, and I can handle the haters, especially because it feels like it takes little or no courage to attack a person with an anonymous comment.  I'm glad to be out of the mental health closet.

Google Ad Watch: State Rep John Burnett

When I searched in Google today for "Kansas City Board of Election," one of the Google Ads came up is:

State Rep John Burnett

www.johnpburnett.com River Market, Columbus Park and Historic Northeast areas of KC

It is interesting to see who is purchasing Google Ad space at this point in time.

30 Day Drug Journey, Day 21: The Seroquel is here, The Seroquel is here

So, my package of Drugs arrived from AstraZeneca. I'm almost out of samples too, so this is great. I now have 90 tablets of the Seroquel. I am staring right now at the pills that have a retail value of $806, and I can't tell you how secure that makes me feel.

The meds were shipped directly to my doctor's office and I stopped at the store on the way home. I had my digital camera out and I decided to simply cover my digital camera in the car, but I carried the drugs into the store with me. Yes, I was far more worried about having my drugs stolen (very unlikely, right?) than my digital camera (more likely, but I did lock the doors).

I assume under the recently passed health care plan, these drugs will not be free from the manufacturer anymore, but the company will be getting some portion of the $800 retail cost, which is probably why the drug companies supported Obama's plan. I do care about the big picture, but right now, I'm just happy to have a 90 day supply of Seroquel.

A view from my window

The Community of Christ Auditorum & Temple view from inside my apartment in Independence, Missouri.

30 Day Drug Journey, Day 17: $12 is $12 Bucks

So, I am currently off the Stavzor and have moved over to the Divalproex. As I have mentioned before, the drugs are very similar and I feel better than I have felt in a long time. A friend of mine commented on how productive and stable I currently seem. The best mood stabilizers allows one to more smoothly navigate the highs and lows that one with manic-depression (or bipolar) experience.

So, I found an extra 3 pills of the Stavzor, with a retail value of about $12. It would be 1 days dose of pills. I shouldn't switch back and forth between meds. I probably will never be on the Stavzor again unless I have great insurance, but I'm having a hard time throwing out the leftover pills. I kind of feel like someone who has lived through the great depression and is very reluctant to throw out anything, because they have lived through lean years. Maybe I have lived through a great depression: a great manic depression. Today that feels very much in the past.

30 Day Drug Journey, Day 15: Gotta Love the Drug Companies

And no, I'm not being ironic about loving the drug companies. Because most of the major drug manufactures have assistance programs for low to moderate income individuals who have no insurance. I have already been enrolled into the the AZ&Me™ Prescription Savings Program. They are the ones that make Seroquel, which is a great drug. According to their page, "If you are an individual making $30,000 or less or a family of four making $60,000 or less you may qualify."

Why do drug companies do this? One could guess:

• Genuine Concern for those that can't afford their medicine.
• To receive a needed PR boost in the public's mind.
• By providing free or low cost drugs to the neediest in our country, they soften the push for real health care reform.
  

Honestly, I am willing to give them the benefit of the doubt, since I am benefiting from their program. So, since I was already enrolled in their program, I had to mail my new script to their processing center in St. Louis. According to their phone system, they have the script and should have it processed in 7 - 10 days. I knew I qualified for this program when I started this blogging, but until I have the drugs here, I'll still be a little worried.

I have to fill out another form to receive assistance with the Wellbutrin and that requires the most recent tax return, so that hopefully will be finished today or tomorrow. Plus, where Stavzor didn't have a corporate program, the makers of Depakote (Divalproex) do, so I'll explore that option too.

Day Drug Journey, Day 15: Shop Hy-Vee

Today, I was going to go to my psychiatrist and see if he would substitute the Stavzor for Valporic Acid (apparently they are very similar). The script that he had written though was for Divalproex, the generic version of Depakote. At Walgreens, they could not use the Valporic Acid as an approved substitution without a new script and my doctor wanted to talk with me before that happened. (Are people still with me?)

To continue to comparison shop I took the Divalproex script to CVS and they quoted me the price of something like $250 for a 30 day supply, the same as Walgreens. Yeah, that wasn't going to work. And then I went over to Hy-Vee and they said the cash price for the Divalproex for someone without insurance is $42.31. Yes that is right over $200 difference.

I considered shopping around some more, but there is snow on the roads today and I need to finish my taxes and lots of other things. While I hope these blog entries are helpful to people, I have to live my life and I can't do everything I might like to do if I was an investigative reporter on this topic. And honestly once you see that you are saving over $200, don't you think you are pretty far ahead?

One Way to Obtain the Meds You Need

I heard on NPR today that:

Thieves in Enfield, Conn., stole $75 million worth of anti-depressants and anti-psychotic drugs from a warehouse belonging to the pharmaceutical company Eli Lilly. Stephanie Reitz, a reporter with The Associated Press, says the drugs could end up overseas or in the legitimate drug market.

I am continuing on my project of finding the best way to obtain the meds that I need and am actually making some good progress, which I will share in the next several days. For those concerned, yes I do have a current supply of medicine and a good support network.

I also wanted to assure my readers, that I had nothing to do with the heist in Enfield, but can I confess that I really don't feel bad for the drug companies? I'm sure I'm wrong about that, just wanted to share.

Communion on the Train

Just over two years ago, in the month before my divorce was finalized I was taking the train to Michigan. This train had a dinning car and I was seated for dinner next to an older gentleman who was taking a trip alone that he had planned to take with his wife, who recently passed away. He had asked if I was married and I fumbled out that I was separated, or divorcing.

He nodded his head. As we finished the meal. He remarked, “You know what I miss most?” I looked up politely, assuming he was going to make a wisecrack about our dinner. “I hate eating alone,” he said.

I felt my throat tighten and I knew he has touched a nerve with me. I wanted to make a chatty remark and move on, but was afraid if I speak my tears will find their release. Instead I met his eyes and nod.

I looked down at the plastic fork and think, “This man deserves more than to share his deepest feelings with a total stranger while using disposal utensils. Hell, I deserve more than that too.” Yet here we are. Two men, without wives, breaking bread together. Alone . . . but not really. He had told me earlier he was Episcopalian.

“I don’t know how people get through a crisis without faith” he said.

“Is it faith, or the faith community” I wonder to myself. (As if faith can be separated from its community.)

Perhaps I am the one who is feeling like a disposable utensils right now. A spork perhaps?

“Do this in remembrance of me” I think as I sip the Sierra Mist in my glass. I have no idea how to make this man feel better, or what to say, I just know I need to be present with him. I think that is what he needs, or is it me, or . . . does it matter?

30 Day Drug Journey, Day 2: Acid, Valproic Acid

I found a coupon that I had thought was lost for 2 free weeks of pharmacist Stavzor. I had tried to use it when I was in Michigan around the holidays, but they did not carry Stavzor in stock. It is a newer drug and actually both Walgreens and CVS that I visited didn't have it.

So, I put the order in for 2 weeks and it should be in on Monday or Tuesday. But the great thing is that the that I spoke with said that bipolar illness is kind of a speciality of his. He told me about a number of family members that have the diagnosis. I won't put his name down, or even what Walgreens I went to, but I am so impressed with Walgreens right now. Honestly I have never had a better encounter with a pharmacist. Never! So I am happy to plug Walgreens all day.

He confirmed what I thought was true about some alternatives to the Stavzor. The active ingredient is valporic acid, which does come in a generic. If I switched to the generic (with my doctor's approval, of course) it would only cost $42.36/month, or $119.08 for a three month supply. That figures out to be $39.70 a month, if you buy ahead. Now you need a Walgreen's Discount Card to get this and there is a yearly fee of $10 - $20.

Still, I was very concerned that I might have to find a different drug from the Stavzor. Still, what does the consumer get for paying $300 more a month for Stavzor, than for generic valporic acid? Stavzor is timed released which helps keep a constant stream of the meds in one's system. You don't need to take it as often, so that is a helpful benefit. And Stavzor is a pretty, easy to swallow coating.

Is it hard to swallow that those benefits (which aren't insignificant) should cost $300 more a month? Right now, I'm just not sure.

Sample Drugs from the Doctor!

I should also say that my psychiatrist has been great about giving me samples. I left today with 40 tablets of the Stavzor, almost half of month. I guess the retail value of $159. He also gave me 8 tablets of the Seroquel (retail value: $100). The Seroquel is actually a little higher dose than I normally take, but it seems the doctor thinks that is fine. He is a private doctor and I paid $70 for the office call, pretty good for psychiatrists.

While the samples might help for a bit, obviously sustainability is of a key concern too. Seroquel has a good manufacturer's program (I'll write more about it later). Stavzor does not seem to and I need to do more research on this. This is a relatively new drug for me, so I'm still learning about it. One option might be that the most expensive meds have to be taken out of my "drug cocktail." Yet there is a lot that is working well for me right now in all of this.

Total Retail Price of Meds:	$780.89
Value of Discount Card	52.00
Sample Prescriptions	259.00
Still Needed for the Month:	469.89

So, we are coming close to the end of Day 1 of my quest and we still have a long way to go before this will work!

30 Days -- Paying for Medication

I recently watched the movie SuperSize me. In it,Morgan Spurlock, decides to eat nothing but McDonalds for 30 days. It was a great concept and a very entertaining film. Spurlock went later on to a TV series called 30 Days were one is faced with a change of some kinds for 30 days (living on minimum wage for 30 days, or an evangelical Christan living in San Fransisco with a gay roommate. The show is worth checking out.

Well, I'm going to start to work on my own 30 day challenge. How can I afford the perscription medication that I need for the next 30 days? I just returned from my psychiatrist today with a 4 fresh scripts for drug cocktail we are using to treat my bipolar disorder. And I am one of the 30 million Americans who are uninsured.

So I started today at a local Walgreens in Independence and just got the cash price. Here is where we start:

	Perscription	Cash Price
	Stavzor 250 mg -- 90 Tablets	357.89
	Seroquel XR 200 mg -- 30	268.52
	Wellbutrin XL 150 MG -- 30 (Generic subsisuted)	139.99
	Ativan .5 mg -- 30	14.49
	Total:	$780.89

Now, I don't have an extra $780.89. I do have some resources and ideas about how to make this affordable and I plan on blogging about this process.

So, first a couple of early methods to bring the cost down. I have a Walgreens Prescription Card and a Together Rx Access Card, though the associate said the card would only save me $2. I also have a card from Stavzor to take off $50. So with those savings, that brings me down to: $728.89.

The mental health safety net in our country has been hit hard in the past couple of years, especially here in Missouri. I hope that my experience in the area can be helpful to others especially as our lawmakers continue to try to pass some type of comprehensive health care reform.

I should also point out that I currently do have adequate meds and am not in crisis, so I have the mental and emotional resources to deal with the challenge. Your thoughts and comments are welcome!

Photos: Web 2.0 business cards go Moo | ZDNet Photo Gallery

I love design and business cards, an interesting approach.

Photos: Web 2.0 business cards go Moo | ZDNet Photo Gallery

Is the Community of Christ Priesthood a Hierarchy?

"The Community of Christ priesthood is not a hierarchy."  It is repeated often and has been long part of the church's teaching, yet the notion that our church's priesthood system is not hierarchical is simply absurd.  At a gathering of Central Mission priesthood tonight, Apostle Stassi Cramm made the claim that there is no hierarchy in our priesthood system, during her otherwise quite excellent sermon.  However, the fact that hundreds of metro area priesthood members were gathered to listen to the apostle should have at least made us suspicious of that claim.  (One of my friends remarked that when Stassi made that claim, he had the desire to shout in Joe Wilson fashion, "You lie."  I don't know if my friend's restraint means he is worth of a higher or lower priesthood office).

    The scriptural evidence is clear.  The Doctrine & Covenants talks about a higher and a lesser priesthood.  We have priests and we have high priests and even someone outside of the church can easily guess which one of the offices is above the other on the priesthood totem pole.

    I know, I know:  the first shall be last and the last shall be first.  Those that are called to lead are to be servants and all of that.  I think the hope that the priesthood system is not hierarchical is a lovely desire, yet it is far removed from reality.

    The tradition in the church was that our priesthood system was a restoration of the model from the New Testament church.  That traditional notion is not taught by the church and has been largely discredited.  (For instance, the first century church had no high priests and generally only had deacons, elders and bishops that carried out functions very different from those of deacons, elders and bishops in the Community of Christ).

    Perhaps another point could be made about priesthood offices.  If you are an Aaronic minister, you most certainly will never be hired as a professional minister in the Community of Christ, until a call, at least to Elder comes along.  If you have the priesthood office of Apostle, you almost certainly will not lose your job when the church has staff cutbacks (at least that has been pattern during the last two rounds of lay-offs).

    President Steve Veasey's efforts on Priesthood Faithfulness are welcome.  But perhaps examining the structures of priesthood itself should be a part of our faithful reflection.  It seems that being honest about realities of our priesthood system is an important step in that process.

Leadership & Discernment

I was looking at an paper I did on Leadership & Discernment in the Community of Christ. It was published in the Theology Colloquy collection for that year. I'm posting it on the web on Google Docs. You can go to it by selecting the hyperlink above.

St. Louis Post Columnist Revises Statement About Community of Christ

Kevin Horrigan posts a comment on the article stating:

Dr. Pasley and I are advised that we may be clinging to an outdated notion of
the Community of Christ in Independence. The former Reorganized Church of
Later Day Saints is, in fact, the second-largest Mormon affiliated church as
the column states. But its policies and doctrines are quite different from
those of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, headquartered in
Salt Lake City.

He wrote directly to me saying:

Apparently the RLDS church has changed more than its name since I worked in
Kansas City years ago. We have posted a comment noting the change in emphasis
and approach. Thank you for your thoughtful comments and best of luck in
your work.

So he gets points for revising the record (though not in the main body), plus he answered he email. That is very nice.

Is the Community of Christ a breeding ground for right-wing, hate groups?

According to a St. Louis Post Dispatch columnist, we are. See: http://tinyurl.com/og5efp.

I wrote an email to Dr. Jeffrey L. Pasley in response:

Dr. Pasley, you were quoted in Kevin Horrigan's column in the St. Louis Post Dispatch (which I accessed online) as saying:

[A] "number of conservative religious groups have their headquarters and
powerful establishments here: the Assemblies of God (in Springfield); the
Lutheran Church Missouri Synod (in Kirkwood); the second-largest Mormon group
(the Community of Christ, formerly the Reorganized Latter Day Saints in
Independence), in recent pro-life times, I would have to count the Archdiocese
of St. Louis.

As an elder in the Community of Christ and having worked for the church full-time for over 11 years in the past, I have to question labeling the church as a conservative religious group with ties to right-wing activities.

Part of my work with the Community of Christ including chairing the Interfaith Peace & Justice Group, Missouri Impact (http://www.moimpact.org/). As chair of Impact, we worked very hard to oppose the legalization the carrying of concealed weapons in Missouri. The Community of Christ leadership was very much in support of that activity. There were those who have broken away from the Community of Christ (a broad group that can be called RLDS Fundamentalist that had supporters of Concealed Weapons, but there was no organized support of the pro-gun position in the Community. Nor are there any organized pro-life groups in the church. Actually, the work I was involved with was often labeled as left-wing activities (lobbying for hunger relief, opposing Missouri Medicaid cuts, putting limits on payday loans, Third World debt relief and I could go on.)

Our Temple is dedicated to the pursuit of peace and if you look at the program for our upcoming Peace Colloquy (www.cofchrist.org/peacecolloquy) you will see the theme is "Justice for Women, Dignity for All." An international award will be presented to to Halima Bashir a doctor and activist for women and children in Darfur. Are these the activities of a right-wing organization?

Of course, I don't know the context of your statement and perhaps you are aware of these activities, but from Kevin Horrigan's column, it seems the church was not fairly represented.

I look forward to hearing your response.

(slight edit to say that I was opposing concealed weapons).